I have this lump on my foot. It’s on my vein. Feel it. Look at that. Is it a blood clot? Is it going to travel to my heart while I’m sleeping and I won’t wake up tomorrow?
-i’m like how was much as a french franc in nineteenfiftyfour?
-oh man too much coffee and now i’m dying. my heart!
I am really scared that a bug crawled into my ear and is eating the right side of my brain. How do I go to the hospital and explain that to them without being immediately put into the psych ward?
I feel short of breath, do you think it’s the weather? Or an allergic reaction to the gelato? Or asbestos poisoning from our dirty vents?
I think I have a black eye caused by my brain ricocheting off my eyeballs when I banged the back of my head against a filing cabinet.
I think I have an ear infection. I’m going to the doctor to see what they say. I hope it’s not a worm in my brain.
Sometimes I have this weird numbness in my head, and the strange sensation that my brain is sinking below the bottom of my skull (as seen on Grey’s Anatomy).
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